When asked if I have regrets in life, the answer is yes. One of the things I regret most is meaningful moments that I missed with mentors and sponsors, because I felt I needed to be strong and have it all together. I wanted to impress and didn’t want to look bad.

I missed out on the richness of learning from some amazing mentors and sponsors, some who are no longer on this earth. They saw potential in me and invested in me, but I felt like I couldn’t fully let them into my world with vulnerability and authentically. I was fearful of being seen as not good enough.

The reality is mentors and sponsors saw much more in me than I ever could have seen in myself. If I had been more open and vulnerable with them, I could have learned even more from their experiences, wisdom, and care. Perhaps they would have learned more from me as well and I would have inspired them too.  

If I had been more unfiltered and real with mentors and sponsors, they could have helped me see what I wasn’t seeing. They could have invested in my growth and development in even more impactful ways. And most important of all, they would have been more vulnerable with me to deepen the connection for mutual growth.

Reflecting on this, it wasn’t because of the mentors and sponsors. I was the one who was getting in my own way. Why do we give fear of looking bad, comparison and the ego so much power? We all have insecurities and moments when we aren’t at our best.

If we stopped comparing and gave more grace, authenticity and vulnerability would come easier.

The reason I share this is, mentoring and sponsoring is one of the most powerful development tools that exists, especially for diverse talent, yet the value often falls short.

Here are 5 agreements to increase impact through more authentic and vulnerable relationships:

1. Model a Judgement Free Zone - Create a come as you are safe space where grace is given, and failure is seen as necessary for growth. No egos are allowed and fear of looking bad is checked at the door.

2. Set Confidentiality Commitments – Agree what will remain confidential in conversations, and what will be shared with others to build trust.  

3. Be Curious – Ask powerful questions that bring depth to the conversation. Examples are, What's this like for you? Why is this important to you? What’s another angle to explore? What’s possible? What’s at stake?

4. Build Shared Narratives - The mentee or person being sponsored should help craft the narrative that is used to advocate on their behalf. This ensures their voice is heard in the way they want.

5. Seek Mutual Growth – The most fulfilling relationships are those with mutual growth. If you both are seeking this, it will happen.

I hope you will reflect on the power of authenticity and vulnerability in mentoring and sponsoring. My invitation to you is to bring these agreements to your next mentoring or sponsorship meeting and discuss them to increase depth and fulfillment in the relationship. Before each meeting ask yourself, “How will I bring authenticity to this conversation?” I guarantee this will shift the experience for deeper connection, growth, and impact. 

WaveLeader: One who thrives in adversity, change and the unknown. A WaveLeader uses the power of authenticity to shape their success.