WaveLeaders aren't meant to walk this life alone, we are meant to walk each other home.

I came across this picture and remembered an old friend from school in rural Montana, Marcella, a.k.a Cella to those in her trusted circle. Cella is a Native American who is 6-8 inches taller than me and as strong as an ox compared to my 5’1 petite frame. When we met in middle school, we quickly gelled once we got to know each other. Her father has spent time in jail, mine had a warrant out for his arrest. We both grew up surrounded by addictions and mental health challenges. Neither one of us had previous generations who graduated from high school. Our grandmothers were the rock in both of our family units. While we were uniquely different in many ways, we also had relatable shared experiences that formed a bond.

The reason I share this is, I have come to realize Cella was one of my first Allies. As I reflect, there are times where I might have crumbled if Cella were not there in my corner. Instead, because of her Allyship, I found the courage to stand tall. More importantly, through our relationship, she taught me how to be an Ally for others. 

As an Ally, she generously created:

• Belonging – A place of community where I didn’t feel like an outsider. I was always self-conscious about fitting in because of my home life. I realized our family wasn’t the only one who grocery shopped at night, so people didn’t see us pay with food stamps.

• Psychological Safety - I could be myself around her without fear of judgement. I knew no matter what, she had my back. When there was conflict with others, she was there to advocate for me. It certainly helped that her build was tall and strong!

• Space to Shine - There is no better example of this than when she fixed my hair and made me look beautiful to go to prom when she couldn’t go. Or how proud she was that I graduated high school even though she didn’t.

Sometimes I wonder, why did I make it out creating a different life and future, and she didn’t? Perhaps it was because of other privileges, like being Caucasian. Maybe there was some luck, and maybe some grace. Likely a combination of all three of these. What I know is:

It takes courage, grit, kindness, and loyalty to be an Ally. Everyone can be an Ally. Everyone needs an Ally.

Through having an incredible Ally early in life, I learned to be one for others and will continue to be until the end. I hope by reading this, you are inspired to reflect on one of your first allies with a sense of gratitude. I challenge you to expand your inclusive leadership impact by seeking opportunities to be an Ally to many creating belonging, psychological safety, and space to shine.

WaveLeader: One who thrives in adversity, change and the unknown. WaveLeaders walk each other home.